Monday, February 28, 2005
tink today's blogging gonna be very long... coz 2 days mah... lolx... let's start frm yesterday... I simply LOVE my IDOL!!!! Haha... zhen de jue de ta hao bang! Watch him play in courts realli cool lor... it's like when he nets... the time seems to slow down juz for him... he always got the chance to decieve pple one lor... den the netting chao mei one!!!! haha... reali my IDOL!!! haha... realise that he got multiple same shirt.... The grey shirt wif ARMY printed on it... haha... coz yesterday... saw him go change shirt le... den play still the same kind of shirt... he loves ARMY alot ar... den always wear that same red shorts wif red shoes... lolx... plus pink wrist band... lolx... reali sissy... bt I like him ar... as in IDOLISE him totally... playing wif my cousin's bf's fren reali makes me realise alot of mistakes... lolx... service got problem... netting got problem... legs got problem... lolx... bt at least yesterday got stretch and run abit... now butt ache, leg ache... :( lolx... bt overall still muz say... I'm Loving it... lolx...
Today had training... Man, I love it... played till 9 plus today... lolx... Super Cool ar... PT was okay today for me... juz enough... not too tiring, not to slack... haha... we did our 5 BX... den later WQ n Michelle went running so den i felt bad so I made Geraldine run wif me... lolx... onli 3 rounds ar.... so still ok :) den played alot of matches... So happy dat i won all of them... lolx... Reali very very happy wif the last match played wif Juliet and Michelle... bt tink i too arrogant in court le :( Partnership wif Wakey was cool today... manage to Win Juliet and mIchelle... tink i'm making Juliet more like a competitor to me le... lolx... reali had a fun time playing... cld feel my tummy burning .... the same sentation i was looking for... lolx... haha... anyway... when i was playing wif juliet... keep telling myself not to let Juliet win... guess I din wanna lose to her in doubles since i lost to her in singles... wanted much to prove my worth... lolx... told myself that Pride will not allow them to win... and thank god they din win... me now very sad... coz me now got no stable partner.... still looking... hopefully when we play wif SA den we can oso win ;)
Nil posted 11:41 PM
am i still alive?
Saturday, February 26, 2005
haha... today i announce i'm fat... lolx... coz i went sch to cyclethon.... hahaha... den almost dieded frm the 5 km ride... c my level of fitness reali sux... lolx... hahaha... juz dat i'm slacker now... coz it's like on mon we ran 4 km... but i was more like walking rather den running... lolx... getting more and more like wei shen... hahaha... fatter and fatter... thanks to CNY :( bt partly oso my fault... coz i too lazy to go running... lolx... den lemme be fatter ar...
Nil posted 10:12 PM
am i still alive?
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
lolx... I'm writing for the sake of writing... I love Ms Seah... She RoCks my WoRld... lolx... Quote: 'No point skipping your lecture for a quiz or test, juz flunk it'
Nil posted 9:37 PM
am i still alive?
Monday, February 21, 2005
ok... tis entry is suppose to be for yesterday... Coz yesterday i went to sentosa... lolx... dun go oso for wat... First, i wld like to write abt my badminton yesterday wif my cousin and her frens....
Hahaha.... everytime go there i feel very happy.... Y? Coz I get to see my idol... haha... it's dis guy who is very sissy... lolx... He reali very cute.... hahahha... Tink i juz haf this ting for sissy guys :P coz dey r always nice to other pple.... hahahha... dun worry i DO NOT have a crush on him though i very easily have crushes on pple... coz he's like 20 plus close to 30... hahaha... I tink he onli got one shirt to wear... coz everytime i see him (once a wk onli) he's always wearing his army shirt and the same shorts... wif the same shoes... (red converse shoes)... lolx... Why he is my idol? Coz he super bouncy... tink the badminton pple shld noe wat i mean ar... he reali bing bu in the courts lor... den his back hand super strong lor... den pple smash him he 9 out of 10 times sure can take lor... n he realli go for every shot... den he super funny... coz his butt will sway abit ar... and he's super nice bt super shy... coz when i first noe him... he didn't even talk... lolx... now he see me den he'll say... Xiao Mei ni lai le... he calls me xiao mei not becoz he's my new kor... bt becoz he dunno my name... I oso dunno his name... Abit dotz... Coz like play for 2 months le still dunno his name :P you dian shi bai... lolx... But during the Sundays I hardly tok one... the onli ting i do is play den msg pple on my fone... coz dun dare to tok to adults... and i reali mean dey are adults... coz most of them are married... (tink except my idol, my cousin and her bf) den some even got kids arz.... I'm the youngest dere!!!! lolx... had lotsa fun wif them... esp when pairing wif Vincent... coz he very loud like me... den when we play we lame thru out... Yesterday he say I keep on missing the shots coz I'm tinking of guys coz the court beside us full of guys ard my age... den i say he miss the shots oso bcoz he xiang nu ren... lolx... LAME!!!! hahhaa... ok... dat's all for the badminton game.... i shall tok abt my trip to Sentosa... lolx
I SERIOUSLY dunno why i agree to go sentosa... Coz it's like I'm going wif mUm and my AUNT onli... lolx... oNe of the few pple i disliked i had to spent my whole evening wif her.... lolx... Anyway... we went sentosa at 6 (wat kinda time izizit to go) den we went to sit monorail.... I guess mum and aunt reali haven been to sentosa for a long time coz my aunt said on the monorail that she wanna take FERRY back to Singapore (note that there's a cute guy sitting opp of her). Of course the guy sort of smiled like wanna laugh den bu hao yi si xiao)... den nvm... we take monorail... coz the stop frm M2 to M3 very long.... den aunt insist that we reaching M4 le... no matter how i try to tell her she dun believe... again the cute guy smiled... den very funny... dey dun seem to know that bus can take u any where.... lolx... that's beside the point... coz by the time we finish 1 whole round of rides it's like quite late le... den we went to eat dinner... den dey say wanna watch shows... so i suggested the musical fountain... aft watching the musical fountain... we were suppose to go to the pub beside the beaches... bt in the end din go... y? coz dey say monorail so many pple... den i say we can take bus... den aunt insisted that bus will have lotsa pple so in the end... WE WENT HOME! lolx... So i went to Sentosa juz to see musical fountain... DOTZ!!!! haha... summore see before le... bt happy to see the musical fountain coz at the last part... for the 1st time... dey used fireworks... NO faiR! that last time i go din haf lor... so it's still a little bonus... yup :)
As we went home... we sat in a london cab... den the 'floor' was carpeted... my aunt went to buy coke and got packets of Ice... den she + mum went to transfer the can of coke into the packets of ice... the driver was a little worried abt his car... I'm oso abit dotz la... Coz i felt bad... in the end... dere was a little spillage bt the driver din see... hahaha... i din noe to thank god or pity the driver... hahaha...
Went home... den continue to play wif Medal of Honour... finally completed the henderson quest... hao bu rong yi advance to the next stage le den my mum want me to go slp... lolx... haiya... tink i got sad life... lolx...
Nil posted 3:17 PM
am i still alive?
Thursday, February 17, 2005
haha... Dunno y i like to start my blog with Haha.... lolx... anyway... i'm not realli happy... coz it's like i'm trying hard to fight for a full 2 day orientation bt i tink this battle will lose... lolx... So now... i'm more worried abt how to make the best out of the 1.5 days of orientation we have... haha... like what shi yang said... Ms Tan said the same thing... and the worse thing is she is also not for orientation... haha... Well... i guess wat she said abt planning 1.5 days first is right... lolx... bt thankful to her that she did not make any empty promises to me... haha...
Now... I guess my job is to help the SnR of O2 get back and plan for the programme... Hate it when my school ends so late.... I wanna meet them... lolx... and hopefully can come up wif ideas to make orientation a success... lolx...
Juz feel that the school is screw up upside down... lolx... Grumble grumble grumble... that's wat i do best... lolx... hahaha.. bt do hope that my hopes on 6th batch would not be dash away... lolx... Waiting for the time to past when i can realli call myself a senior... lolx...
Stressed? Am I? I dunno... lolx... juz dun feel like doing anything right... u noe it's like those movies when the main character stands alone in the busy streets and stone while all other pple walk past him/her very quickly... hahha... that's what i feel now... lolx...
Haha... I'm taking part in talentnite as emcee... lolx... no auditions required... y? onli 3 pple came for the emcee thing... haha... hopefully i dun screw up on that day... :P
Bye for now... dunno wat to write le.... i wanna start planning for o2 le... lolx... :] hopefully... dey can make it a success and show to the school that they r capable of completing highly impossible tasks... and of course... gain support from the students :D
Nil posted 12:52 PM
am i still alive?
Monday, February 14, 2005
Yoz!!! First of all I wannna wish every a HAPPY VALENTINE! lolx....
Today... I very bad... y? I made my juniors buy balloons for me... lolx... XD haha... I cheated John, Yew Ming, Guang Yi to buy for me... hahaha.... Of course... not forgetting... Jenny! haha... oso made him buy for me... weiqi tooo.... lolx... so end up got 5 balloons... lolx...
training was ok today... except i wasn't in the mood to play... lolx... Coach out to cheat my money! lolx... He restring my racket juz a few wks ago... den the string now wanna break le :( Qi Si Wo le!!!! den made me feel so insecure playing wif my racket...
Oh Yeah!!!! I ran today!!! finally... tink abt 3.2km? Ran to CCK Park... den run in the park den went back to school.... Realli happy wif myself until i ate my dinner at 8 plus... wanted to lose all the fats i gained during CNY end up adding more fats by eating :(
Haha... SPA is on Wednesday... Bt I DUN FEEL LIKE DOING SPA.... NOT RELAXING AT ALL... hahaha... losta tings to remb... lolx... shall end here :)
Nil posted 11:26 PM
am i still alive?
Sunday, February 13, 2005
haha... tink i very sentimental... always cry watching touching shows... lolx... I juz cried again coz i was watching Kindred Sprits... I noe... I watch that show before le... noe wat was gonna happen bt still end up yi lei xi lian (crying)... lolx... very sad coz in the show Sophie died... den the death scene very touching and sad... esp. touching when May May said that she's left with nothing except Mummy and Dan Dan... so Mummy cannot leave me...
I was very very sad.. n can't help bt to worry... dun wanna grow up... coz I dun wan Sheng Li Si Bie to happen.... I hope I can juz freeze the aging process like wat I did in Sims 2... i dunno... Nv thought of the question when i was young... bt as i grew older... i'm worried... haha... esp. year by year... dunno how much time is left... xin you dian tong... tink i dun wanna say any more coz I reali will end up crying again... dun wan :(
Nil posted 7:27 PM
am i still alive?
Saturday, February 12, 2005
haha... I realise i realli suay... y? Today i bang my head 3 times... den my finger got stuck in the fan... almost can't come out... lolx...
Anyway... I juz came back frm dinner... lolx... Ate wif my aunts... Bt i still feel hungry... battling wif my mind to eat or not to eat.... lolx... My hearts say juz eat lar.... bt my brain says... pls... u eat summore bound to get fat... bt I AM REALI HUNGRY!!! :( haha... like always... suppose to write my blog yesterday... bt i too busy drinking yesterday... hahah... long time no drink... abit of alcohol onli i got tipsy... lucky i'm at home... lolx... so can lie on the bed so not dat bad... mum went a bit overboard... Ask her dun drink so much till drink... lolx.... yesterday she opened 2 bottles of wine... end up getting so drunk... dunno wat to say le... tink our whole family's turning alcoholic... lolx... bt I won't drink so much la... y? The onli reason keeping me frm drinking (strong reason as well) is that alcohol makes pple FAT... so for my jian fei li you... I won't drink... lolx...
Talking abt yesterday... i pon school... bt wanted to go for training... bt yesterday no training... lolx... so nv play and exercise... lolx...
Yesterday went to watch movies... watch CoNstAntiNe again plus Racing Stipes... I seriously tink ConStantiNe daMn Cool!!! lolx... I love the scriptwriter man... lolx... i love every line John Constantine spoke... esp when he blew smoke to the spider and said 'Welcome to my life' hahaha... or the begining when he did an exorcism on the girl... he was talking to the demon... 'This is John Constantine you Asshole' lolx.... cool man... bt tink lately the shows are getting more vulgar... lolx...
Racing Stipes was cool... bt i can't stand the FLIES in the show... Juz wanted to squash them... lolx... I Juz HATE flies... lolx... esp. HOUSEFLIES!!!! totally disgusting!!!! lolx.... *pukes... lolx... haha... tink Sheep very suay... coz I made us miss the first few mintues of the show... lolx... C... Tse Tse and Cookie not the onli ones who watch with me and miss the 1st few mins of the show... lolx... tink anyone who watch wif me will miss the 1st few mintues except going out in grps... lolx...
Robert (i tink it's u coz ur hse fone can send sms) u wanted b the last one who wished me happy bdae... bt u din succeed! lolx... coz alot of pple wish me later den u :P haha... xie xie ni de zhao gu... lolx...
Snr gonna Rock and Stone this year!!!! lolx...
I wanna watch Assault on prectint 13.... anyone wanna watch wif me? lolx... nvm... me will watch alone again!!! lolx... tink me love watching movie alone le :P lolx... have a happy holiday while i go mum mum now... lolx... signing off at 2153 hrs.... lolx
Nil posted 9:33 PM
am i still alive?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Happy CNY to all...
lolx... may all your wishes come true...
Nil posted 10:46 PM
am i still alive?
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
My 18th years on earth... n i cld say.... no year's bdae is as worse as this year's... Tink the onli thing i did that i feel was good was to go watch Constantine alone... lolx... haha... Welcum to Uni life man... see I'm ready... lolx... HATE TODAY!!!
1st HAD TO SPEND TODAY"S NITE with pple that i DUN LIKE...
2nd Realise that in the end i'll still be alone... lolx... it's my fault... it's my bdae's fault... always on days where pple nv can make it....
esp. sad tis year... mayb coz i juz realise every year's bdae have been sucky... the onli loving memory i had was the bdae i had when i was abt 3 or 4... tink everyone muz feel that I'm such a useless person... onli cared abt minor things... true enough... lolx... Mayb i'm juz not as strong or as mature as i used to be... lolx...
I guess I wld say if it's like a year or 2 ago... i wldn't be crying here writing my blog... lolx... I'll juz tell myself it's ok... dey r juz busy... lolx... it doesn't reali matter... bt as i grow older... i juz wish that when I needed someone to be there... dere will be someone... lolx... Sorry bel... i noe i was suppose to watch movie wif u today... bt suddenly i dun felt like watching anything bt Constantine.... lolx...
I question myself.... Where's that someone when I need one? i dunno.... reaching out and can't get that someone when I needed.... Juz anyone... lolx... Tired of this life sometimes... mayb i'm juz to emotional la.... lolx... Read too much comics le... the scene of the boy crying alone in the dark rm and reachin out juz to find that no one wld be dere to help him... all voices telling him dat all hopes are gone.... telling him that no one wans him.... telling him that even God will not embrace him in his arms for he has sinned....
Will God ever gave up embracing me in his arms if he finds out the sins i have done? Or will it be like wat the Angel in Constantine said... God will juz let humans join him in the heavens as long as he repents... lolx... i dunno... i dun wanna noe...
Kill me pls... for i have no courage to take the life of my own.... the scent of blood is what I'm afraid of...
Nil posted 10:24 PM
am i still alive?
haha... I'm proud to say i'm 18 now... lolx... yes... i am! haha... finally get to watch all the m18 shows plus go clubbing... lolx... dun wanna write anymore... lolx... Yew Ming... funny BOY... send me a msg saying i'm like a monkey shld be kept in the zoo... den say dun worry he'll be dere with me... standing outside of the cage laughing at me :X Friday den he noe... i go bully him again... lolx... make him take 18 pics wif me for my bdae present.... lolx...
Nil posted 11:21 AM
am i still alive?
haha... dis was wat i felt yesterday nite... very sad... dunno why... haha... mayb coz i realise all the pple dat i wish i cld meet is not free today... lolx... except bel... lolx... den like no one to celebrate bdae for me tml liddat... mum not celebrating... dad oso... i dunno la... juz like felt that no one reali cared abt my bdae... lolx... bt in fact everyone did care... haha... bt tink i oversensitive le... juz hoping for someone to reali stay wif me and wish me happy birthday on my special day... bt so far... din reali had a memorable one... lolx... it's ok... tink i'm still at my transitition stage so abit unstable... lolx...
Thank you Mindy and Amiirah... coz u sure made me very happy yesterday... i'm reali surprised that u bought a gift for me... lolx... Love u guys lots.... made me felt like a Amiirah yesterday :) haha....
haha... thanks to all my laopo and glen for wishing me happy bdae today morning... at 0000 hrs... lolx... oso muz thank Matt for wishing me happy bdae too... n 5th council.... lolx... and Yew Ming my eye candy... who always kanna bullied by me... haha...
Well... tink shld end here... happy new year to all...
Nil posted 11:11 AM
am i still alive?
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
haha.. i'm not meant to write blogs... i mean this is supppose to be like a diary and diary equals to writing it everyday.... but look at me... i keep forgetting to update it... lolx... tis entry is lyk suppose to be 10 thousand years ago?!... lolx... ok...tai kua zhang le... lolx...
anyway.... Juz realise not long ago that I actually is a little tired of jc life.. lolx... I mean I can't stand the way the teachers are complaining abt our attitude when their's are not great either... lolx... I love Ms Aw... even though she just scolded us twice not long ago... bt it's coz she has our interests in heart... lolx... yup... coz she's our CT and she's like trying very hard to make us perform tooo... :) haha... I dun like Ms Seah... nt becoz she's not nice or wat bt i juz dun lyk her... tink i've got attitude problem... I just feel like poning all her lesson... lolx... esp. when her's always the last period after long hours of break... SuCKY! hate to juz stay in sch and do nothing... I juz dun love sch the way I love it... lolx....
New year's coming n the sch is making every effort to make it look homely... bt lolx... aft deco... there's still this emptiness that I do not know how to explain.. lolx.. tink I just miss CGS ALOT now.... Here... it feels so empty and like it's a place build for loners... and turning pple into loners coz it's so hard and cold here.. lolx...
Even though that this is empty and cold i'm still glad that I did came here... though there's a little regret coming here bt still feel happy that I did came... coz if not I'll nv met the people i'm meeting now... lolx...
Very tired nowadays.... dun tink i slept well.... nights are always haunted by dreams... lolx.... a little pissed off with myself... lolx... coz i dunno wat i wan to do in life... I'm like wasting my youth?! Still in transistion stage where I wanna break free bt not knowing wat lies in the path ahead of me... lolx... tink my mum's gonna kill me again when she see my bill... bt i'm gonna pay my own bill lah.. felt very bad that I'm spending all her hard earned money... waiting for the day to work... mayb i shld work as a tution teacher.... lolx.. and make the children fail their subjects... evil me...
i tink i'm over sensitive... i noe not hu to reali trust? I mean when pple are nice to me i just feel that they have ulterior motives.... lolx... dunno la... dun wanna noe... haha....
wakey... noe u dun reali come here and read bt if u do...i wanna say i'm sorry... Sorry for being so mean for the past wks... i dunno wat's coming over me since orientation ended... I juz get easily pissed off for no good reason... I'm an unstable element... mayb i shld start looking for my anion so that i can get rid of my extra proton and form ionic bond... lolx...
Dunno wat's going on in chemistry now.... lolx... can't understand organic chem... bt lucky ms aw very nice... say she's gonna make us do qns and den help us find the missing link.. hahaha.... guess that's wat kind of person i am... If I can't c the link i'll juz give up.... lolx.... can't wait for training to come.... I just wanna excerise and forget all my troubles... lolx... :)
felt reali guilty for being mean to my sis too.. lolx... haha... the evil me says that finally now she get a taste of how i felt 6 years ago... lolx... at certain times it's quite cool... get to be queen of the hse den can do wateva i want.. bt sometimes it can be lonely too... lolx... i like my house bt at the same time.... i feel that it's like PJC.... big (in my opinion, my hse is big) and cold.... can't feel the warmth... can't feel the love.... can't feel anything... except the feeling of loneliness... darkness.... unhappiness...
Let saddness and sorrow fill my life... n mayb one day if I reach out again... there will be a hand to pull me out of this abyness (nt sure if spelt correctly) :(
Nil posted 11:50 AM
am i still alive?
