Thursday, November 24, 2005

Nil posted 1:21 PM

am i still alive?

Monday, November 21, 2005

cont. from previous post... more photos!!!!

Nil posted 3:50 PM

am i still alive?

okay... I have lotsa pics that I'm gonna show... my last memories of PJC... these are mostly wat happened on farewell... some taken quite long ago... wahahaha... mostly akbar... not bcoz i'm in love wif him but he's like one of the main character of the day, smelling of coconut oil... wahahhaa... more pics coming..

Nil posted 3:33 PM

am i still alive?

Friday, November 18, 2005

i'm in need of help now.... someone save me? I'm down and out, wld someone pls save me? at the brink of hysteria now.... i'm breaking down.... yes I am.... it is time like this dat i realise dat i'm a loner actually.... [jack of all trades, but master in none] i'm almost liddat... aquaintances with everyone... yet those who knows me deep are less than 5... i'm crying... in tears... yet i noe not whom to find to share my woes....

[sudden realisation]
i'm a failure.... failure at everything....
i tot i was independent...
i realised i was a complete fool...
enclosed in a secure world built by my mum...
every step i take is precisely calculated by her....
sudden realisation dat my life so far is actually a bed of roses...
so i dunno how to go on wif my life w/o listening to my mum....
so lost.... so lost.... so lost...
I'm so lost... drowning and reaching out...
trying to tell her my thoughts...
but realised dat it's not working....

[filled with tears]
i'm in pain... i'm ready to snap... do you see it?
i'm still so childish...
while pple are moving ahead with life...
look at me.... where am i?
i dunno... i can't see.... blinded by my own tears....
while pple are complaining abt BGR.... look at me...
I'm still here stuck in a family that I not sure wat's my niche... wat's my role...

[negative thoughts]
i tink i'm an equipment... a tool...
for this family, for this place i'm calling home...
4 walls with unhappiness...
dat's home...
Ea night I'm going to bed... tinking abt my life...
tinking abt how to make money....
tinking abt wat if my As sucks....
tinking abt where to find the money to go Aust if I can't make it to NUS, NTU
tinking abt how life wld be if I had insisted in going to poly..
tinking abt how to reach for my dream...
tinking abt when I'll die....

[sick and tired]
i'm reali sick and tired... sick of everything these 4 walls brought into my life...
sick of feeling insignificant...
sick of feeling so lost and so weak...
sick of myself.... seriously... hating myself for what I am now... so weak....
days gone by and i realised dat instead of becoming more and more mature in my thinking... i have become extremly childish..
see... I haven't be rebutting myself thru out this blog....
wich few mths back i will to make sure dat i was/am objective...
I've juz past the feeling to care abt objectiveness....
Kill me....

Nil posted 6:57 PM

am i still alive?

necromancer

taggies @ the bottom! feel free to leave me a note

AboUt ME!!!

I'm a MartiaN living on Earth hence, my nick MOE! been here for 19 years nw, Earthling lifestyle suits me fine... main obj. on Earth is to learn all abt the species call Humans... and of course how to get along well with them... Have Earthling parents, and an Earthling sister who's a pain in e neck... Love my life here, 6 years of a pri. sch girl at Fuhua, 4 Yeas to call myself a CrEsCenTiAn, 2 years to PJC and another 3-4 years to come to b a NUS student... haha... Looking at what more this Earth can give this poor old martian... lolx...


Nata's loves

Nata has lotsa loves... haha... Nata loves to eat, drink and slp.... Reading comics is one of her fav. past time, nt forgetting being online... loves to hang out at GAS HAUS loCaTeD at MIDDLE RD wif Glen, Rach, Jon, Ben... Loves all her Frens esp. GlendA, JuliEt, Tse-Tse Fly, Phy, WakeY, Rach Lam, Connie, Ivy, Eddie, Gerald, Kee Onn, Robert... Loves all her Brothers: Shi Yang, Jeremy, Jonathan, Linus, Edward, John, Joseph Love her eye candy: Hong Seng... Love music by Jay Chou, Jacky Cheung, Zhang Xin Zhe.... Love her N6131... and... MOSt of ALL... Nata love her dear... Uncle Ben... :P

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