Tuesday, May 31, 2005
haha... ok... this is my sec day in the holidays... more productive...
Went to do maths... so not dat bad... hahaha... ok... had fun wif 6 SC again...
best is the 'Cat Fight' bw joseph and Edward...
haha...
John was the cause of the fight...
He used the stamp and stamp his Birthdate on Edward...
Den Joseph thought it was cute and he continued to play on Edward...
He used the whole stamp pad... so er... Edward got reali dirty...
So Edward got 'angry' and tried to stamp on Joseph...
hahahah... den dey say wanna show us cat fight...
lolx... wat happened?
Joseph said in Cat fight u will grab the person's hair so he did dat to Edward...
hhahahaha... and Edward cld onli try hard to scratch him...
Edward told Joseph he's not grabbing his hair coz he gel up his hair...
So Joseph promised and Kuo Shou Zhi wif Edward....
At this instant... Joseph scratched Edward on his knee cum thigh...
hahahha... of course Edward fought back... but nt as good as joseph....
Den joseph ask Edward to be careful coz got things behing Edward...
Edward turned and guess wat?? Joseph attacks! hahaha...
So in the end Edward lost... hahaha...
And John juz stand and enjoy the show wif us... lolx...
See... john's smart... the main mastermind juz relax... and laughs...
worst part... Joseph and Edward can't even remb how and why dey started fighting.... lolx
interesting day huh?! hahahah
Nil posted 9:06 PM
am i still alive?
Monday, May 30, 2005
haha... okok... i'm cont frm last entry... haven finish thanking the pple in Council yet... haha... I dun plan to thank all lah... but dis r the pple i muz thank...
From ExCo...
[Amiirah... haha... the girl who always hug me when i see her... and her smile is always bright and cheery!]
[Wei Tse... our P... L.. :p haha... she dun like pple to call her dat... she's always fun to b wif... haha... welco wld nv b the same wifout her... coz she's the head ar... :P]
[Abraham... my father... thanks for e video ar... dere to make us cry :(]
[Jenny... my dearest sis... hahaha... thanks for takin care of me :)]
[MJ... we knew ea other since o2 last year... it's good to haf ya wif me... always be dere to help me when I needed help :)]
[Jason... Boss... scary at times... but still one of the lamer ar... thnks for the speech!]
Frm Pub Co...
[Siew Cheng... how can i not thank her? haha... she's lyk one of the SnR members ar... thnks for all the joy u brought to me! haha... i'll send u the pics soon :P)
[Jamaine... my grand-daughter... dun whine too much ar... haha...]
[Crystal... haha... thanks for realli being so sweet and always dere to praise me and make me feel dat all the hardwork we put in is well-deserved...]
[Wee Keat... haha... thnks for always helping me do work even though u r not under me... thnks for everything... including lending of your fridge during the bbq :P]
[Huda... reali thnks for helping me in T-day and the camp yeah... thanks!]
Welco...
[Si Hui... thanks for lameing wif me... hahaha... life wldn't b the same wifout ya...]
[Pei yu... hahahha.... I'm stupid ar... use to believe dat u and si hui were cousins :(]
[leona... my cutest and chioest daughter... thanks for the smiles u put on my face and brought to my life! love you lots!]
[Valla... my bro... hahaha... thanks for being horny :p]
ok... shall end here....
talk abt wat i did in sch... I rocks!
Went to sch at 0820.... super early to study... lolx...
Went to council rm... did study abit... did chem and bio... hahaha
Den later... abt 11 plus... it's full swing to RISK!
hahaha... at first... Jenny, Alvin, Felicia and i were playing...
Jenny and I were Alliance...
den later... he went for klass... Abraham took over...
hahahaha... He took half of Asia... when I suddenly announced... Alliance is OVER!
So i killed him... hahahah...
Den felicia and Alvin had to go... so Guang Yi and John took over...
First... Guang Yi and I alliance... den He Alliance wif John...
The Alliance was over when John killed him.... lolx...
Den it was b/w John and me... At this pt of time... it was already 2 plus...
hahahaha... Den... he was so tired and hungry... when it was my turn... he sort of let me win so dat he can go eat luncher... hahahahha...
Cool rite? Love 6th Batch SC... hahaha... very fun... till i forgot I was suppose to haf meeting wif GY and Celest to pass down SNR Stuff to them... lolx
Nil posted 8:50 PM
am i still alive?
Saturday, May 28, 2005
The time now is 12.44 am... dun ask me y i'm blogging at such hours... dun i feel tired? hahaha... I am very tired... but this is the onli time i can go online without being scolded... so Nata... hang on... actually i'm wide awake ar... coz juz napped for 1 hr on the sofa... coz I was too tired aft lameing @ lot 1... haha... Den when I woke up... the tv was showing horror film... All i saw was this girl got stabbed several times and the cameraman zoom into her pupil... so it was scary and i immediately switched off the tv... lolx... so let's start on wat happened today...
GP paper... Haha... I wrote qns 9 for paper 1... haha... hopefully i din write out of point.. den i shld be able to pass le for paper 1... as for paper 2... No hope ar... lolx...
Council Investiture 2005....
It seems like only yesterday den we stepped into office...
yet today we are gathered here again to witness the stepping up of the next council...
reali felt sad but still happy to say I'm a 5th Students' Council Member... :)
In the begining of the ceremony... No one cried...
Our row started crying when dey played the video and we relive the scenes....
As I look back at Council days... all the time I cursed and sweared and pple...
All the time I had wif my SnR comm....
All the TCS we had together....
Pardon me but I wanna sing...
[we had fun, we had joy, we had seasons in the Sun...]
haha... Noe u guys wld probably wanna shut me up now... hahaha...
Remembering the good old days....
[ when we were at our 1st Council Camp organised by the 3rd batch...]
[remember we had so much fun together... got to know more pple]
[and of course I still remember the comments wrote on the piece of paper that I still have wif me]
[Everyone wanted me to stop singing... lolx]
[Den when it came to election of the EXCO...]
[We were all surprised by the votes.... very much surprised...]
[haha... I remembered Gerald broke my heart by telling me he did not vote for me :(]
[But it's ok... coz we all learn to trust ea other, and adapting to ea other's working style thru out the later part of council]
[our 1st event was Teachers' Day... remembered the times when we went Mac on Sat juz to settle the theme and programme...]
[Made a lot of noise then... lolx]
[Den we had Open House... lotsa memories of TCS aft open hse... how we were unhappy wif some pple... den we laugh in our Air-con rm...]
[not forgetting... we had grad nite too....]
[laughing at the seniors for wat dey were wearing...]
[Jc1 OriEntation... when we were all working hard and finally enjoyed our fruit of labour...]
[not forgetting all the meetings we had for feedback system....]
[Laughing at some of the feed backs...]
[Esp. Huan Qing's feedback... hahaha...]
[Of course... Pioneerama Too... where I can always count on Jia En to put on a good show :)]
[Dere's always Mindy who will write and type the minutes.... and emailing me on time :)]
[Gerald who always say he doesn't wanna do the minutes when Mindy's not ard yet always doing it... lolx]
[Wai fun.... our dearest Treasurer who didn't act like a loan shark... and always being nice to me and everyone! :)]
[Fahmi... our dance instructor!!! hahaha... thnks for everything... and I can always count on you to do things for me]
[Adrian... God pa... who's the thinking and reflective and sentimental guy ard us... always giving feedbacks and always helping us wif the AV stuff :)]
[Shueh Yi... who's name is Snow fish... hahaha... thanks for everything... hee hee...]
[Hazwan... my teddy bear... my saikang warriors.... thanks for everything]
[Huan Qing too... my faithful member who's as horny as me n always making me laugh]
[Hazwan... my royal Husband... thanks for supporting me for the past 1 year... Snr has becum more horny since u left...]
[Hui Xian... my dedicated worker who nv sheirk when I ask her to do things for me...]
[Snr rocks... and it'll forever b in my heart...]
Okay... let's go back to wat happened today during investiture...
Think jue Yi, Wei Sheng and Sutrisno reali rox! haha... love them for playing such wonderful music...
oh yeah... muz reali say Programme of 6th SC u guys have done a good job today.. know it's hard to come up wif the programme in such a short time...
The gift pple of 6th sc too.. i think the gifts were fabulous... cool!
Haiya... make my life simpler... thank u 6th SC for all today's investiture... and wish u all the best in future projects! haha... and if u guys reali have any problems, pls do feel free to apporach us seniors... hee heee...
oh yeah... aft investiture we had dinner at Siam Kitchen... hahaha... guess Siew Cheng shld be in SNR... since she hangs out wif us so ever often... not forgetting b4 the dinner... SC and I had fun time taking pics wif Jue Yi... lolx... of course... I took alot of pics wif 6th SC... hahaha.... over 100 pics? lolx... coz my fone already has like 60 pics? lolx... at Siam Kitchen... Jia En & Gerald had a chili compeition.. and haha... Gerald's mouth was like swollen?! lolx... but we had a good time laughing... Hazwan my husband ate wif us... and we were all talking abt the good old times... The onli regret I have is not telling sum person dat i dun like dat she/he shld wake up and stop trying to act as if she/he has the power... those who's close to me will noe who i'm taking abt... lolx...
forget to thnk 1 more person...
Jason... coz his speech rox... thank you for remembering the things we did...
hahaha... not forgetting the AV Crew! u guys rox!
oh yeah.. and my cute cute cute tree... thanks for being lame... :P
Guess dat's all i have to say so far... too lengthy... shall cont another day :)
Nil posted 12:41 AM
am i still alive?
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
tink blogging has been a habit for me... hahahha.... hard not to blog if i can... lolx... aniwae... nothing much except dat i spent 4.70 to get 3 miserable small sleeping pills... well it worked on me... hahahaha... slept like a pig... wat can i say? wo tian sheng jiu shi zhu... dun wanna go sch... but muz force myself to go... lolx... can't remember wat i dreamt last nite... but muz b violent too... coz my pillow and stuff were all on the floor by time i woke up... lolx... tink i can't get married le... will ba lao gong ti xia chuang! lolx...
Saw the guys running today.... hahahhaha... hope dey'll win... haha... din noe Edward can run so fast... lolx... Edward... lolx... he got sick today... lolx... as in not reali sick but aft his napha den K.O le... lolx... too long nv run... hahaha... I reali very lazy today... lolx... juz wanna slack even though i have tons of homework NOT done! hahahha.... shall end here since i dunno wat else to write.... lolx...
Nil posted 10:26 PM
am i still alive?
Monday, May 23, 2005
okok... today went to macs wif glen... den got this weird old man... keep on staring at me (glen wasn't here yet)... den he bought me drink... I dun dare to drink... and started siting at my table... so scary... den keep asking me if i had work to do... den ask me drink the drink... I was scared ar... den msg Glen ask her where is she... lucky within a min she came... so she ask me y i sat dere den we change seat.. hahaha... the old man took the drink and moved to the new seat... nvm... den later... he came and sat beside us!!!! Arggggggg... so Scary can?! den nvm... later he change the seat to directly opp me... i was so freaked out!!! I juz pretend to study.. . and dun care him... lolx... so cool rite? haha... so while Shi Yang attracts old aunties... I as his sis attracts old uncle... lolx... Even though i said I like older man but come on!!! Gimme a shuai one can?! Like Winson tan... lolx.... Everyone's hot favourite.... Rj student and some more in medicine now... hahhahaha....
almost forgot... muz talk abt last nite dreams too... haha... this time oso very saddistic... i dream i was a soldier... Helping the Americans to fight war wif the Japs... Juliet was my teammate too... den i almost got killed coz i was crawling den suddenly lotsa Japs came out of the rm... den i went to hide immediately... den almost kanna found out... but lucky dey din... den something sweet... in my dream... dere was this AB-chinese working for jap... den he said he was a spy... hahaha... i was sort of scared in the war coz got gun shots everywhere... den he's beside me holding my hand (*blushing) to comfort me... den he told me dat we will get out of the war together... ask me to leave first... he'll meet me later... but he nv did came out alive... (*sadded) even in my dreams I oso can't haf my dream guy wif me for eternality.... lolx... haha... dun ask me hu's dat guy... coz I oso dun remember... lolx... Not someone i knoe... but reali damn sweet... esp when the Japs found me... dey wanted to shoot me den he stood right in front of me to protect me... of course being and officer he managed to stop those japs frm shooting me... lolx... Ok... i shall turn this into a story and write it down... hahahhahaha... i'm going mad le... lolx... mayb someone can interpret my dreams for me? :)
Nil posted 10:14 PM
am i still alive?
Sunday, May 22, 2005
hahaha... yesterday went to Glen hse... wich directly overlook my alma mater... hahahha Fuhua Primary Sch... decided dat one day i muz go dere to see hw it has changed.... hahahha... Went to play wif Glen's dog... he's very cute... He cldn't bark.. can only yelp... lolx... den very small... hahaha... Today i'm dead le... almost died on my bed... had a very violent dream... I dream dat I killed someone... use different knives to chop the person up into pieces n kept smiling as i did it... enjoyed the feeling for fresh meat on my hand... lolx... scary rite? I'm actually so violent... den had breathing diffculties... thanks to me... hahaha... can't play wif dogs still wanna play... Asthmatic mah... hahahha... den went to play badminton... almost died bcoz can't breathe properly.... Almost faint in court... hahahhaha... STupid Me!
Nil posted 3:04 PM
am i still alive?
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Today... i'm both angry and happy.... haha... let's juz talk abt the angry side...
lolx... I HATE L and CoaCH! dey r a bunch of losers! haha... note the word i use... HaTE!
Hate coach coz he's been yelling non stop since he come back today...
Hate L 4 always creating more trouble for me...
Why can't adults tink like an adult?!
Shall speak in Yoda's language...
Childish they are.... Fools dey realise not... Them, I fear not....
worried abt 6th council I am, guidance given to them not, free time seniors dun haf, guide them seniors can't...
Hahaha...
Aniwae... was talking to 6th sc abt programme of investi... had a good laugh... can't remember wat i was laughing abt... but I was mad ar...
here... i wld reali like to thank Jenny... thanks for caring when I got pissed off... thanks to Mindy, Amiirah, Wei tse for comforting me... Thanks to glen for making me laugh... thanks to weiqi for making me scream on the low wall... Thanks to Ben who almost killed me wif the V.ball... thanks alot... hahahahhaa
Nil posted 12:42 AM
am i still alive?
Thursday, May 19, 2005
haha... today something happened... haha... Makes me wanna laugh... lolx... Ok... today had napha test.... I got gold! so happy... haha... was esp. happy for my sit and reach ar... anyway... i din noe abt the Sit and reach brand... haha... Told Mr Ang I was aiming for 68 cm... den he said... dun aim for 68 cm juz aim for Hong Seng... haha... Got scared hell of my life... i thought he knew that I admire Hong Seng's badminton skills... hahahaha... Den i realised... the brand of the Sit and Reach is Hong Seng... & 'hong Seng' is the max u can get ar in sit and reach... lolx... So i reached and yes! I reached to Hong Seng... reali wondering if it's coz of the name... haha... dat's y can reach so far... lolx... of course not... not dat obsessed wif Hong seng ar... dat would be too scary ar... haha... coz i used to be frm Chinese Dance... (unbelievable) when I was in primary sch... so everyday go for training muz do sit and reach... hahahha... so become very flexible in sit and reach.... hahahaha... but reali funny... nv knew it was call Hong Seng till now... lolx...
Nil posted 11:28 PM
am i still alive?
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
watched Star Wars today... haha... the film is quite ok la... but abit stupid at certain scenes....
lolx... aniwae... was wif glen, edward and jeremy when we lame together... Oh my... reali laugh and laugh like mad... hahaha... hao jiu dou mei na mei kai xing le... hahaha... laugh and laugh... dunno what i was doing... haha...
den went onto the bus wif glen... sitting beside us was these couple... young teens summore... jie di lian ar... coz the girl like way older den the guy... guess wat dey were doing? lolx
Glen saw everything ar... i din... so i'm the lucky one here... dey were touchy or shld i say the girl... lolx... she was touching her bf... and guess where... erm i reali dun wanna spell it out... wat's happening to our asian values?
Glen was telling me wat happened and we both feel totally GROSSED out!!! haha... Makes me wanna say... GGYAC... (juz in case u dunno wat it means.... Go Get Yourself A Cave!) Spoilt my day and make me feel like puking... hahaha....
Shall not write anymore... juz made me feel reali disgusted... esp. dey were sitting very close to us... Haiyo... No modesty at all... *faints
Nil posted 11:45 PM
am i still alive?
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
[haha][realised dat bloggin is one of my fav activities]
[juz feel like bloggin and writing non stop]
[suppose to write for yesterday though i wrote alot yesterday]
[ok... was blowing bubbles and reliving my childhood...]
[Bubbles!!!! Love bubbles!!!! haha]
[Bubbles rocks...]
[Juliet help me climb the low wall so i cld sit dere and play Bubbles!!!!]
[hall was very quiet... made me finally realise dat i'm a noise pollution...]
[will try to tone down ar...]
[Bubbles!!! Love bubbles!]
Nil posted 1:39 PM
am i still alive?
Monday, May 16, 2005
for the sake of my General Paper, i shall my entry in full proper english. I know that my blogskin does not show my entry title so I shall rewrite it here again. 'Reflections...'
Those who know me from my secondary school years and still keeping close contact with me may perhaps add your comments about me by tagging on my tag board.
I'm doing my reflections on my life thus far so you guys might not want to read it.
After my life as a Crescentian, I moved on to Pioneer Junior College which was not what I actually wanted. For those who knew me really well would know that I desperately wanted to go to a polytechnic to study film and media studies. Unfortunately, I was not supported by any of my family members and so I went to a junior college.
I did regret at certain times of the year for coming to PJC but generally, life was still good for me. However, I did felt certain changes in me that made me feel slightly ashamed, angry and scared of what and whom I may become.
I realised that throughout my stay in Pioneer Junior College, I have been isolating myself. I do remember how easy it was to make friends in Crescent and yet today I'm actually enjoying 'single-hood'. I detest and would try my best to leave the crowd alone. I'm lying to myself each day that I am a sociable person yet I know deep down that I am not. My DISC profile may have said that I'm a 'I' personality but I don't feel this way. I may play a fool but that's does not mean I am a person with 'I' personality. This leads me to another problem; hypocrisy.
Hypocisy, the great big word, is something that lies in the grey region, something that I hate for it is hard to judge if it is right or wrong. Of course, with hypocrisy comes another word; backstabbing. Both are not known to have any positive notations and definately something which I condemned. Yet today, as I'm typing, I'm commiting the crime of hypocrisy. As for backstabbing, my friends told me that if you speak of a fact of another person, it is not considered as backstabbing and I shall take it as what was defined by my friends and hence, by and large, I'm grateful that I have not yet commited the Sin of backstabbing. Here I am, may be complaining about this friend of mine whom I have guard against, yet a fraction of a second later, I'm smiling and laughing with the same friend of mine whom I have just complained. What can I say? As time slips by from my hands, I'm getting more hypocritical and of course i have no wish for this contuation yet when I say the people around me, I could see masks hanging before their real faces and I do not dare to give my heart to these people. It makes me really sad for I wish I was back in Crescent, meeting my friends and talk to them with openness that I no longer dare to do in my college life.
Next, I realised that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I have had this feeling of a lost sheep, knowing what to do. I try to hide my disappointment (both towards my life and my surroundings) yet when I am alone, I can't help but ask what's the use of my insignificant existance? I read somewhere, i can't remember, that everyone on this Earth has it's own meaning and contribution, but to me, I feel that I am just a jack of all trades yet master in none. Just really disappointed with the number of things a soul can change, for it is limited, way too limited. There is so much that I want to do, yet it is all beyond me. Things that I see that is wrong and not supposed to happen had all happened. Things that I wanted so much to have control over, just a little control, life just felt it was not right for me to handle. Okay so I just had to watch as people slowly falls into the hole that I tried very hard to warn others against yet no one would and could see the light i see. All this resulted in 1 failure that I thought I had absolute power over it- Disappointments.
I invented this little phrase, ' too many setbacks resulting in emotional scars'. At last, this is true. I remembered that I started shutting everyone out of my little radius of communication when I was disappointed with those people. As I grew older, I thought I would be more responsible and will not do such a thing any more. Yet, I'm doing it once more. I'm just entirely tired and sick of all the decisions that I had make and so, I'm washing my hands of everything. Just let them do what they want, I don't want to care any more. I have learnt the hard way about trusting people and decided that I shall not trust anyone anymore. It hurts and pains me to know that the people that I love most are the ones who hurt me most. Running away from the problem may seem to be irresponsible but I don't dare to face it. Don't even dare to think about it. I started to wonder if I should be like people living in the past and blame it all on Fate and Destiny. I know I'm whining like a spolit child yet I can't help it. Perhaps it is just me that I may know where my problem lies, but refuse to act on it. Then again, even I myself do not know the real me, who can I hope to know what lies in me? I'm just too heartless I guess, cold to care about others and stop my whining.
I wanted very much to laugh. Yet all that surrounds me when I'm alone in the dark corner is just saddness, perhaps more loneliness. Just like the others who are emotionally hurt, nightmares will haunt in the dark night. The irony, darkness is my only true friend for I can't see the ugly side of me, the side which I hoped never exist. Maybe I'm thinking too much, I think even when I am sleeping. The nightmares will stop, definately, when Death finally comes for me and like a knight with a shining armour, he will rescue me from the psychological torment I am going through each day. I have stopped crying, for my tears are dried and heart bled till there was no blood left. My heart breaks knowing that you don't care about me, at all.
Nil posted 10:37 PM
am i still alive?
I wanna screw blogger! haha... coz i wrote an entry for farewell party... super long summore... den when i uploaded it guess what happens? the stupid blogger server say it's down for maintance... all my efforts down in the drain!!!
[ok... let's start again]
[Enjoyed myself totally during farewell party...]
[1st things 1st... let's start frm thur...]
[on thur... Edward, wendy, Jelaine, john, Wakey and me went to buy food for the BBQ]
[we went 10 mile junction... cool ar coz got 2 supermarkets dere... bt den Shop and save like ghost city...]
[Cldn't find any chicken wings... had to go all the way to Sunshine Place to buy...]
[So it was fun... Fun wif Edward fooling ard... Our miss Crescentian... lolx]
[John was pretty amazed wif the amt of sweets sold at d supermart... it's super alot!]
[Went to Edward's hse to put the stuff so dat nx day can prepare for the bbq]
[on friday... went to Edward's hse wif Wakey... den Jelaine came...]
[Joh was nice and actually quite gentle sounding on the fone...]
[we got him and other guys to bring the bbq food to sch...]
[I was cooking wif the help of Wakey and Jelaine...]
[Dey cut and i cook... lolx]
[2.5 kg of rice was alot...]
[Nv cooked so much fried rice before in my whole entire live]
[so was a little stressed out...]
[Felt reali bad for making use of Edward's kitchen... summore his mum helped us alot]
[haha... so went to sch wif the fried rice and worrying dat no one wld eat them]
[ok... went back to school for the meeting... stupid Mr Goh... Insisted meetin at 4 bt in the end he oso nv come]
[so we elected the new exco of PJC Badminton...]
[Dey are... for the guys... Xiang Ming as Cap, Edward as V. Cap... Hong Seng as QM....]
[For the girls... Jelaine as Cap, Liyi as Tresurer and Michelle as QM]
[haha... well it took alot of pple by surprised when i voted... haha.. those dere shld noe y... lolx]
[so den we took pics...]
[Ding wei trying to act like me lor... i took the exco pic and i said 1,2,3 Xiao]
[Den all of them laugh... :(]
[aniwae... tink Jon tink i'm stupid... coz i took Edward's photo wich was on the Board and i said 1,2,3 even though it was a drawing... lolx]
[Now for the BBQ... tink Michelle rocks! Coz she was the one who started the fire...]
[the guys were like sitting down and wait?]
[lolx... Hong Seng tried to murder all of us wif his v.ball skill...]
[no doubt he can onli be Badminton player...]
[Xiang Ming entertained all of us wif his retarded laughter... lolx]
[The twins were reali sweet, helping us take pics... lolx]
[I was busy cooking... haha... din wanna eat...]
[Den all of them thought i was torturing myself... lolx]
[den dey had the rolling competition... where juliet rolled out a champ... lolx]
[Took alot of pics...]
[Took wif Edward, John, Joesph, Tsoon Liang, Danial, Chris, Melvin, Xiang Ming and Hong Seng...]
[Took wif all the girls!!! Super happy...]
[Den during clear up time... well... din cry bt teared... juliet cried... haha... it was sad for the both of us...]
[Reali love PJC Badminton... love them lots...]
[PJC Badminton will forever live in my heart!]
Nil posted 10:46 AM
am i still alive?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
today... we lost yet again... lolx... but it's ok... it saddens me but still wat has to come will come... so i'm stepping down... not much to say except dat tears flow in my heart... will miss everyone... will miss HS XM John Joesph Edward and all the J1 Girls... lolx... yup... crestfallen...
Nil posted 10:16 PM
am i still alive?
Monday, May 09, 2005
[haha... badminton tournament for the guys has juz been officially over]
[we won 2 matches today yet we can't count dem]
[sadded... so went on a blinging (dunno how to spell and dun care) spree]
[act like a little baby... screamed juz outside the sports hall... with HS and XM close to me]
[Din realil dash across the road even if I felt like it]
[Heart broken... I don't wanna step down this way...]
[Mayb I'm the jinx... shldn't be dere to support e guys in the 1st place]
[I'm cursed... yup]
[Juz like the vicious cycle continue...]
[Life sucks... esp when u are reluctant to do the things that was thought the right thing to do]
[A battle has started long ago... the mind vs the heart]
[wat's right vs wat's wrong]
[a Need vs a Want]
[life vs death]
[in the end, i'll choose death... if death means fulfilling my wants... my heart desire.... den i have no regrets]
[in the end... it's always the mind dat wins the game]
[too clear headed is nt something good... u lose the meaning of life]
[the dare to try... the williness to learn... the passion to keep life going...]
Nil posted 10:30 PM
am i still alive?
[everytime i blog, it's seems to be juz unhappiness]
[Before i start ranting on abt wat i'm sad abt i juz wanna write this quote]
[Stepping down is not an option; I have no choice]
[Yup, that's how i feel, a moment of anquish]
[close to tears as time is slowing crawling towards tml]
[Tml, the last match dat PJ girls will play...]
[the match dat marks the end of my road as a badminton player for Pj]
[the match dat will put my dearest racket in the store for collectioin of dust]
[i'm juz upset knowing dat i'll be looking at the J1s train, n i can onli smile bitterly to myself- those were the days]
[i know i shld stop behaving lyk a spoilt child bt i juz can't help it]
[I dun wanna step down but i can't]
[Nv thought it wld be so hard for me]
[Close to tears]
[Haha... but it's for the best of my future]
[Hearbroken and griefstroken]
[dun wanna give up bt i have no options]
[haha.. i will miss the girls & the boys of badminton...]
[wanna play so much bt i can't]
[a promise i have made dat i knew i can't keep]
[close to tears]
[realising i'm not the only one who is emotionally tormented everyday]
[haha... yup... realising dat my frens frm crescent have nt totally survived the harsh environment of JC lives]
[even so... i'm close to tears]
[Juz love the phrase: Close to tears...]
[It can reali describe how i feel rite now...]
[no options and no choice]
[i'm trained to look at the future and make the best out of watever is given to me but i can't...]
[not now... I'm stuck in the moment]
[Juz let me whine non-stop and cry if i can]
[dunno how long it will take me to recover]
[dun wanna look lost... but i know i will]
[close to tears]
Nil posted 10:17 AM
am i still alive?
Friday, May 06, 2005
i love my blog... coz of the song ar... like the piano piece alot... haha... too bad i dunno how to play... lolx..
Aniwae... we lost against RJ... lolx.. so yup... NY won SR... lolx... So NY is going to the nx round... haha... din like the NY Coach.. lolx... aniwae... glad dat Wan Wal won but sad dat Gina lost... I mean i like Gina alot even though i just met her like on Tue? lolx.... nvm... haha... oh ya... Today... Juliet's junior came... June... Very Pretty... took a pic wif her... den think she think i'm weird... haha... but reali Mei Nu so muz take pic... haha...
Juz realise dat e whole of S26 noes dat I'm 'crazy' over Hon Seng... lolx... Er.. tink i scare him le... hahaha... so gonna juz chill and cool down... Going down to support the guys again on Mon... a little sad ar... coz like wif ea game played means we are stepping down... dun wanna step down... but can't coz As coming... lolx... Reali love badminton... lolx... well shall end here... haha... btw... hopefully Hon Seng dun read Jelaine's note book... coz i drew a sheep dere and a bob dog... one saying Hon Seng rOcKs! My WoRld! the other says... Xiang Ming rocks... er... guess dat will reali scare dem?! lolx... dun care le... coz Me stepping down le... almost forgot... Mrs Wee is from CRESCENT!!!
CRESCENTIAN RULES!!!!!
Nil posted 9:05 PM
am i still alive?
Thursday, May 05, 2005
haha... I'm mad... ok... been blogging like everyday... lolx... coz dis few days got badminton tournament so got lotsa things to write... lolx...*First of all... Edward JuSt PiSsEs me OFF!!! We quarrelled on the bus... cool rite? haha... Told him to wait for me... in the end nv wait for me... den the bus had to turn back for me... ONli ME LOR! Make me like some queen... tink the guys can hate me le... so i scold him... den he scold me... abit dotz lor.... shld not talk abt him le.... *Aniwae... today went to see the guys play against IJ... We lost... but it's ok la... i mean still have one more match to go... so juz hope we can win... lolx... I feel very bad coz i pon all the lessons i have? haha... sure get into trouble one... lolx... nvm... i'm stepping down soon... no more chance to really do wat i like after i step down so juz lemme go crazy for a while... I'm gonna watch mon's match too... guess the teachers will miss me lor... esp. Ms Seah... haha... nv see her at all for this wk plus nx wk except for wed... lolx... Reali reali love Hon Seng and Xiang Ming!!! haha.. ok... those hu don't reali know me will be like 'y this girl here love 2 guys?' haha... juz in case Hon Seng and Xiang Ming's frens happen to (even though it's close to zero except for Wakey and Juliet hu comes and see?) visit this blog and gives the wrong idea to the both of them, let me explain... lolx... Those hu noe me will noe dat I use the word 'LOVE' casually... haha... So my 'love' for Hon Seng and Xiang Ming is purely admire... like the way juliet loves chris... hahaha... tink dey reali rocks my world wif their Baminton skills!!! Love them like MaD!!! haha... okok... i tink this few days realli too crazy le... lolx... i've been a stalker for this wk... Wat did i do? Er.. haha... I've been trying very hard to take the pics of both of them... lolx... so like keep on tou pai-ing lolx... if only Xiang ming can Guai guai ran wo pai den i won't be a stalker le... very tiring u noe... While dey were playing... I was trying hard to take their pics... lolx... So guess my actions will scare them... hahahhaha... dun worry... i won't do anything to them... haha... juz enjoy watching them play badminton... :) ok... this is reali a long chapter about them... lolx... oh yeah... muz thank JoHn!!! Coz he's the one who armed me a cam today during the match... lolx... Wo De Guai Di Di... Xie Xie ;)ok... lolx... dat's all for the day ba... hope Wei Qi will send me the photo... haha... I promise i'll stop zoooming in... :P haha... oh i forgot... tml 8 am got bio test... Haha... die le... haven touch anything regarding School work for the whole of dis wk... so prepare to fail le... lolx
Nil posted 8:48 PM
am i still alive?
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
ok... haha... so i'm writing down my feelings for today... so we lost the match against NY today... pretty sad... but it's ok... I mean no point crying over split milk... shld be forward looking.. lolx...
Today's the 2Nd day haven been talking to Edward... lolx... gonna be ANTI EDWARD... I got nothing to say le...
Anyway... forgot to write abt council camp... lolx... Reali love it lots!!!! Coz it brought Siew Cheng, Wei Tse, Admiirah, Man Jun, Leona and me closer... lolx.... we were reali like having chalet lor... the sound system of LT 1 Damned good lor... den we talk and watch movie at the same time... lolx... love it lots!!!!
Aniwae... tml's guy's match... i'm gonna support them... Hope dey will win!!! ;)
Nil posted 10:17 PM
am i still alive?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
haha... first of all... pls lemme start by saying... DO NOT MENTION EDWARD'S NAME INFRONT OF ME... I'LL GET SUPER PISSED!!!! Dun ask me wat he did ar... he shld noe la... Reali VERY disppointed... wat can i say? :(
aniwae... let's not tok abt the angry stuff... well lemme start wif my genting trip... lolx... weather very nice dere!! Love it lots... it's like 24c onli... cooling... not too cold :) didn't go for the rides though... coz i onli went dere for 2 days 1 nite... so like can't do much??? lolx... aniwae... yup... Kelly Chan was having concert dere... but i din go... lolx... cheap though... coz the cheapest is 80RM... so it's like S$40? lolx... bt tink so cheap go dere can onli see peanut size her... lolx... aniwae... watch divergence in canto... Super nice ar... but the story abit sad... Well shall tell ya the story if not those hu wanna watch dun need to watch le... lolx... Oh yeah... I muz mention this 2 things... very impt in my trip...
1.
Went to eat dinner at a seafood restaurant dat's by the sea... opp is sembawang le... lolx... aniwae... coz got rain clouds... not those super dark one but quite cloudy... den only one spot dun haf clouds so can reali see the Sun rays... reali like those in the shows... where the sun rays like heaven's gates.... Very nice... shldn't say nice coz it's neutral... but muz say the sight was unforgettable...
2.
At the seafood restaurant... i saw this BUTCh... who reali... reali.... reali.... look like a GUy!!!! And it's those quite shuai guy... lolx... At first I thought she's a guy... coz she reali look like a guy... den her sheng cai not reali like a guy... lolx... den i ask my mum ar... lolx... so funny... den the both of us look at her and hear her speak.. den oso coz she got ..... ar lolx... but reali look like a guy... summore she wear baggy clothes ar... but reali very very shuai... Made me wanna say.... Zuo Nu Ren Tai Ke Xi Le... lolx... but dun worry... i'm straight... lolx... plus she reali look like a guy ar...
End of report of my genting trip... lolx...
let's tok abt my trip to the Guy's Tournament...
Reali happy to be dere... coz watched my 2 fav match... i muz say Xiang Ming (hopefully spell correctly), Hon Seng (pray i spell correctly too) and Chris ROX!!! haha... after watching dem play i fell in love with the 3 of them... Esp. Xiang Ming and Hon Seng... haha... reali my eye candy le... dey cover ea other so well... reali partners for so many years lor!!! Dey were flying in courts ar... i reali reali love dem!!!! lolx... U guys shld have go down n watch... reali COoolllllll!!! Love dem lots!!!
Tml it's the girls playing... Hopefully we can win and i believe we can!!! PJC Badminton ROX!!!! Love Girls team plus Chris, Xiang Ming and Hong Seng.... hahaha... plus Daniel, John, Joseph, Tsung Liang and Edward... dey all rox my world!!! ;)
Nil posted 8:35 PM
am i still alive?
