Sunday, November 11, 2007
i'm now locked out of my house....
I did not bring my keys out today...
thinking that my project meeting wld end early...
well... I was wrong... It ended only at 10 pm...
by the time i came to the door step... It was already 1115...
Mummy did not wait for me...
She slept already... :( and I was locked out of my home...
tried calling mummy... but mum soundly asleep so she din wake up despite me calling...
when i realised dat mum already asleep and i'm locked out... I can't help but cry...
Mummy never open door... I feel very sad....
Why mummy never wait up for me....
feel like mummy don't want me le... so i can't help but to cry...
The thought of I wanna go home but cannot made me feel extremely sad...
feel like my heart's aching... so i cried and cried summore...
Worse things happened later... I walked all the way to Gek Poh so that I cld withdraw some money...
bt suddenly all the doors closed... I waited for bus to bring me to Boon Lay Interchange..
But bus driver nv see me wave and din stop...
I tried going to the taxi stand at JP to find out that the route I took was a dead end...
Finally when I managed to get a cab... It was already 12am...
Ben asked me for my location... bt only once that's all... den he fell asleep...
though he knew i was crying he still fell asleep...
Glenda dat pig... nv pick up my call...
I dun like Glen any more... always dun pick up my call... :(
Onli Juliet msg me throughout... Thanks girl...
I felt that at least you cared about me...
lolx...
Nil posted 12:45 AM
am i still alive?
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
yesterday i met wif Ben...
I gave him a black face when he told me he brought his laptop out so that he cld watch his drama coz he said he was early...
he den asked me if he had offended me...
I told him he offended me before our anniversary...
on our anniversary and the day before our anniversary...
he said he had done nothing wrong at all...
wow....
we had some sort of a quarrel...
but later we watched movie and went to play bowling... and guess wat he said...
he said... if he won me at bowling...
i would have to forgive him even though he had done nothing wrong...
I told him... if he had just ended his sentence on i would have to forgive him if he had won...
I would gladly lose to him... but he had to add saying that HE HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG...
During dinner... he said... he can do without communicating with me but i can't...
i told him he was right...
he dun gt the point.. Wat's the use of having a boyfriend when your life wif him is at good as being single?
The onli thing different is that having a boyfriend = someone paying for u when u go out...
Den why do i nid a boyfriend???? I might as well go get a sugar daddy....
he does not and just like me... Will never understand each other... i just feel like I'm nobody to him... he said he cares... but his actions show that i'm not even number 2 in his heart... I just feel that the love between us is diminishing... maybe he's already tired of being wif me...
Damned... oh well... it's ok.... it's him... who he is...
and me... who i am...
i will not expect any thing from him anymore...
nothing... if he wants to break up wif me... so be it...
Nil posted 12:38 PM
am i still alive?
Sunday, November 04, 2007
wahaha... exams are coming in less than a month's time...
so i stop working le...
thinking that i can reali study... but no...
been lazing ard lately... argh!!!!
wahaha... can't believe myself...
i dunno why... been very upset wif my results so far...
i mean i did my best to write my assignments but the results reali sucks...
wahaha... my life sucks...
been quite upset wif mr Ben too...
yup... he keep on saying that if i love him den will forgive his mistakes...
dotz... dotz... dotz.... sorry I dun feel this way...
he said he forgave all my mistakes...
wahaha.. but i'm SUPER PETTY OK!
sucks sucks sucks...
i dun wanna talk to him sometimes lor...
maybe i'm being childish... but it just dun make sense to me....
I can't tell my mum that he's my bf... but to show that i care abt us..
i brought him to see my cousins... den did some stuff for him...
but he??? pple ask him why he appear in Jurong... he said meet friend...
dun dare say meet girl friend... and dat people is not EVEN his CLOSE FRIENDS!
just someone he saw before... damned dotz lor... i tot i shld be the one dat say i'm onli meeting fren since it's at JURONG POINT...
den nvm.... after the movie at abt 9.45pm... he say he dun wanna send me home... so sweet lor... so i told him: i oso dun expect friend to send me home... it's at night lor... he dun even wanna send me to the interchange... at least wait for me to go up the bus rite?
den nvm.... i remembered our anniversary... so i sent him a letter that he wld receive on 1st nov... he say he din forget our anniversary just waiting for me to send him a msg... lolx... i dun believe... why??? when he asked me why nv send him msg, it was 9 plus 10... means he already reach home and saw the letter i sent him lor... nvm... while he was asking me... he NV DID SEND ME A MSG SAYING 'happy anniversary' dotz dotz.... so i send him a msg saying "i'm angry because he nv wish me anniversary" the next morning... he totally ignore... that whole day oso nv msg me... ok lor... i dun wanna msg him too...
nvm... if i nv msg him he oso won't msg me... den ok lor... we dun msg each other lor... wat's the point of promising me good morning msgs everyday when he can't even do that... if he don't keep his promise, why shld i keep mine?
maybe all aries r like dat... they changed once they win your heart... i sick of telling him the same old ting because all he will say is...
Have u realise i nv complained at all? because I love you so i'm willing to accept all ur faults...
and how many times muz i say?! i'm not that kinda of wei ren... I'm just a girl who will feel insecure too... feel that there's no future at all...
can u imagaine... if we r already liddat, dun even wanna send a msg to care for each other just barely pass a year of being together... i dunno how long we can last... in fact... i feel like i'm single now... lolx...
damned it... oh well... it's ok... i shld concentrate on my studies... maybe i shld just study... wahaha...
Nil posted 10:25 PM
am i still alive?
