NecromanceR

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

[self-reflection]
i tink self-reflection is the main cause of suicides in human society...
reflecting ea day and trying to find yourself is tiring...
at least for me... the more i tink, the more i try, the more useless i feel, e stranger it feels to be me...
the question is... 'who am i?'
it serious... the older i get, the more fascade i see, the more confused i am...
in the end... i dun even know who i reali am....
it's like trying to rest and take down the masks i wear ea day and finding a face that i dun even noe... which, ironically, is an empty face wif nothing at all... or mayb, the masks i wore ea day is wat i am... but if the masks i wore ea day is e true me, why do i get so tired of being myself???

[ruo jue de lei le jiu xiu xi ba]
i'm willing and ready to take a break, but how do i do so when i dun even noe where my last mask lies? how do i take a break when i can't find anywhere which allows me to do so?
zhen ke xiao... tian da, di da, zhe shi jie que mei you wo rong shen zhi chu...
when i tired of walking this long stretch of road, who will b by my side, giving me a warm hug and telling me 'it's ok, take a rest.'
i reali need a shoulder to cry on, but i can't find any ea time i'm in tears
the onli comfort i have, thank god and e guy/gay who invented e cell fone, is to call someone...
bt as much as i want to call all the people i noe, i noe not who to call...
not becoz i have many frens, but coz i dunno who i can get to comfort me...
ea time i want 2 call someone, i knoe dat person will b busy and in order not to let da person worry abt me and work(wat ever she/he doing) at the same time, i said nothing... and finally when i decided to call, i realise, nobody's at the fone... Putting down the fone, a sudden realization came to me... if i take a step front and get knock down by a car, would anyone realise it's me?

[wo de xin zhen de shou shang le]
it hurts... and i dun wanna b hurt again...
i noe wat glen and jul said is true...
i take everybody's words too seriously which is why i am hurt all the time...
words are e invisible swords which pierce thru my heart and wounded me deeply
it's not dat i can't take jokes...
i juz can't distinguish which sentences are jokes, which are real...
sentences which are mean to me are but of nothing but jokes? yet it seemed so real... so real... it's like you reali wished dat i din exist in this world at all...
Am i such an eyesore to you dat you need to make me cry to feel gd?
mayb you noe not.... i always feel so small when i'm beside you... needin ur help most of e time... i feel bad... bt it get even worse when you are angry with me... you might not knoe it but it reali makes me feel like i useless... it made me feel dat i'm the cause when you are in these situations... it gets reali bad when i'm reali sorry and you wished dat you dun wanna see me again...

[sorry]
i noe it's reali childish of me to feel this way and cry coz of it...
i noe i shld grow up...
i noe... i reali noe...
but i dunno why i can't stop acting so childishly...
i hate myself....
i hate everything abt me and myself...
tried of trying to find myself and end up finding nothing...
tired of being such CHILDISH FREAK!

Nil posted 12:01 AM

am i still alive?

necromancer

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AboUt ME!!!

I'm a MartiaN living on Earth hence, my nick MOE! been here for 19 years nw, Earthling lifestyle suits me fine... main obj. on Earth is to learn all abt the species call Humans... and of course how to get along well with them... Have Earthling parents, and an Earthling sister who's a pain in e neck... Love my life here, 6 years of a pri. sch girl at Fuhua, 4 Yeas to call myself a CrEsCenTiAn, 2 years to PJC and another 3-4 years to come to b a NUS student... haha... Looking at what more this Earth can give this poor old martian... lolx...

Nata's loves

Nata has lotsa loves... haha... Nata loves to eat, drink and slp.... Reading comics is one of her fav. past time, nt forgetting being online... loves to hang out at GAS HAUS loCaTeD at MIDDLE RD wif Glen, Rach, Jon, Ben... Loves all her Frens esp. GlendA, JuliEt, Tse-Tse Fly, Phy, WakeY, Rach Lam, Connie, Ivy, Eddie, Gerald, Kee Onn, Robert... Loves all her Brothers: Shi Yang, Jeremy, Jonathan, Linus, Edward, John, Joseph Love her eye candy: Hong Seng... Love music by Jay Chou, Jacky Cheung, Zhang Xin Zhe.... Love her N6131... and... MOSt of ALL... Nata love her dear... Uncle Ben... :P

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

necromancer

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